A few weeks back, our lovely cat Dosa decided to completely chew up our Wii’s sensor bar, rendering it completely useless. Besides playing games and emulation, we used the Wii a lot for watching movies we downloaded; not having it working was a big pain.

We went to a few game shops to look into buying a replacement sensor, and prices for a “real” Nintendo one ranged from 150 to 250 RMB. Considering we got the whole Wii package for 1000 RMB, paying that much for only the sensor just didn’t make sense. Online auction site Tabao has a ton of them for sale for as little as 35 RMB, but at that price one can only wonder if they even work.

Luckily, Ellen found a decent solution online… using two candles!

Apparently the Wii sensor isn’t actually a sensor at all – it just sends our infrared signals, and the Wii remote has a camera to capture these signals. Through triangulation, the position is determined.

To be honest, I’m still not completely sure how this works – I guess the flickering of the candlelight is similar to the light signals sent by the ‘sensor bar’… but who cares. It works, and not only that – it works just as well as the sensor bar!

Last week I came across these knock off video game systems and games at a supermarket in the south of town.

I realize that the Mega Man series is notorious for having a silly number of (almost identical) sequels, but even this is pushing it.

As Shanghaiist noted, New York and Paris are usually the cities to get blown up in movies and games. So if this is any indication, Shanghai is well on its way to becoming Asia’s world city!

Before accelerometers and motion detection as in the Wii, and iPhone, the early 90s promised NES gamers new ways of interaction beyond anything imagined. Unfortunately, these promises were delivered through the Power Glove and the U-Force.

Everybody knows the Power Glove, which was made very popular through the 90 minute advert for Super Mario Bros. 3 known as The Wizard starring Fred Savage. The movie’s villain was some evil super-gamer kid who used the Power Glove. In the movie’s most infamous scene, after decimating some opponent the villain kids gives an evil glare and says, “I love the Power Glove. It’s so bad.”

Well it’s no mystery that the Power Glove was bad. But not in that way. It was pretty damn useless for any game other than Punch Out!!, and even then it barely worked. You’d wave your arm around wildly, and events would be triggered randomly, if at all. The technology at the time just wasn’t up to the job.

When I was 12, I couldn’t care less about the Power Glove, until I entered a Super Mario Bros. 3 contest at the North Bay Heritage Festival, and the glove was first prize. Some background: I obtained a Japanese Famicom copy of Super Mario Bros. 3 with adapater about 8 months before it was released in North America – before any kids in town had played it, I knew the game inside and out. Unfortunately, this wasn’t enough to win the obviously RIGGED contest at the Heritage Festival, since I only came in third place and got some crummy t-shirt.

This annoyed the hell out of me, and made me want that damn Power Glove. So much so that I eventually saved up newspaper delivery money and whined and complained for the rest, and purchased the stupid thing. Well played, Mattel. Well played.

After about an hour, I was sick of the thing. After losing to Glass Joe in Punch Out!!, I realized the Power Glove sucked and was completely useless. I couldn’t admit that though… because that would be admitting that I made a big mistake buying the damn thing. Also, the subsequent bragging I did to my friends at school of how awesome it would be would have made me the laughing stock of school yard video game players all over North Bay… maybe even Powassan.

Things became worse when a fellow classmate got the U-Force for his birthday. The U-Force was the same idea as the Power Glove, but it consisted of what looked like a Battleship board that sat in front of you, that you would perform motions in front of. Like the Power Glove, it too barely worked.

Unfortunately, his pride was at stake too, so he also kept playing up the greatness of the U-Force. This eventually turned into a pissing contest between the two of us, as we both tried to garner support from our schoolyard chums about which was better. Recess debates went something like:

“Why would I want to swing around at nothing? With the Power Glove, I put it on and I’ve got the POWER to control everything.”

“The U-Force is so advanced you don’t even NEED a glove. It just detects your movement, any movement! It’s the future!”

It was a strange situation: we both knew our device sucked, and we also knew the other’s device sucked just as much. It was hard to keep a straight face when arguing the merits of one over the other. The debates would always end with the promise of an epic battle:

“Fine. We’ll play Double Dragon 2-player using U Force and Power Glove. Whoever wins has the best device.”

“You’re on.”

Of course this battle never happened. If it did, time would’ve run out before anybody even hit anybody else. It’d be just two characters on the screen jumping backwards, kicking randomly, or banging into walls.

Fortunately – for the both of us – the SNES was soon released, and the Power Glove and U-Force quickly faded into irrelevance, ultimately ending up in garage sales and pawn shops across North America.

How I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when this concept was being brainstormed:

Boss: Alright gentlemen, Contra is really popular, so let’s come up with a two-player game with two gun-toting Contra-like guys.

Executive 1: PERFECT! And Satan… no, wait… a satanic goat… is the last boss!

Everybody knows somebody who is ‘great’ at Tetris. Maybe that someone is even you. If so, even you will say WTF when you watch this Japanese guy play.

After you shake your head and say “That’s impossible,” skip ahead to the end to where he does it during the credits with INVISIBLE Tetris blocks.

Ikaruga

Ikaruga is probably the coolest shooting game that I’ve ever played. It’s also the most difficult, frustrating shooting game I’ve ever played, and the one I hate more than any other.

It’s unique because it introduces an interesting twist to the genre: your ship can switch colors between black and white. When your ship is white, you can absorb white enemy fire without dying, and black fire kills you. When your ship is black, vice-versa.

Anyway, this game is hard. Damn hard. I have yet to beat it on NORMAL difficulty.

No trouble however, for this other Japanese guy who plays the damn game in two player mode BY HIMSELF with one hand on each controller.

Worst boss fight ever

The quality of this video isn’t the greatest, but you get the jist of it. The screen is filled with enemy fire, and this guy dodges everything.

Seriously. How many hours would it take to get this good? Imagine if this raw dedication were harnessed toward something useful!

I’m a huge fan of classic games, especially classic NES games. I’ll admit that I approached Capcom’s 8-bit sequel Mega Man 9 with apprehension, but after playing it and seeing that it was the real deal – a true 8-bit sequel with old school difficulty to match – it was like I was 12 years old again.

So, when I first heard that Konami was planning on releasing remakes of some of their classic titles through Nintendo’s Wiiware service, I was thrilled.

Unfortunately, Konami’s Rebirth series is no Mega Man 9.

Contra Rebirth

I started out with Contra Rebirth. I’m a huge fan of the original NES Contra, Super C, and Contra III: The Alien Wars but to put it bluntly, Contra Rebirth did not impress me at all. It came off like a short, poor man’s “Alien Wars” that was thrown together at the last minute by a team that thought a remake would be too boring, and trying something new would be too risky.

The music is annoying. The classic tracks have been remixed poorly, and the new tracks are not bad, just not memorable. The graphics don’t have the charm of 8-bit, nor the style of 16-bit. They’re somewhere in between, but nowhere interesting, just like the game itself: bland and uninspired. The result is a boring, unnecessary addition to the series.

To make up for the game’s obvious half-assedness, Konami seemed to try and add some sort of a campy, over the top story. This story is narrated between levels through nonsense dialog and still-frame one image cut-scenes. Several reviews seem to appreciate this, but not I. The Contra series has always been over the top with ridiculous action (e.g. hanging onto a missile in-flight with one arm while firing a huge automatic rifle with the other), yes, but it never mocked itself over it.

Gradius Rebirth

Disappointed, I decided to give Gradius Rebirth a shot. I was never a big fan of the Gradius series (Life Force being the exception), and this remake did nothing to change that.

Like Contra Rebirth, Gradius Rebirth is not a remake, but instead takes elements from several games in the series (Life Force/Salamander included) and puts them together with “updated” graphics that are not old enough to be retro, and not good enough to be impressive (even for 16-bit). Graphics aside, the problem with Gradius is that as a shooter, it has not aged well. Your ship, the Vic Viper, is incredibly slow and useless unless powered up. Even when it is, compared to other shooters in the shoot ‘em up genre (including ones much older) Gradius is tedious at best, frustrating at worst, and the rest of the time just boring.

Castlevania: The Adventure Rebirth

My last bit of hope was saved for one of my all-time favorite Konami franchises, Castlevania. This game isn’t released in the West until November 30th, so I’ve been playing the Japanese version. The game doesn’t have much of a story or text, so aside from the one page intro text, I’m assuming the NA/EU release will be identical.

Castlevania: The Adventure Rebirth is a remake of the old Gameboy title of the same name sans Rebirth suffix. Unfortunately, aside from the miserable 3D titles in the series that I will not mention (and refuse to link to), “The Adventure” is probably the weakest title in the Castlevania series. Also unfortunate is that this Rebirth title did little – aside from adding more new but bland 16-bit style graphics – to try and improve on that.

The level design is completely uninspired and easily the worst in the series. Virtually every stage consists of walking all the way right and going up stairs, followed by going all the way left, and going up more stairs.

All the familiar enemies are there (skeletons, hunchbacks, medusa heads, mermen), but they’ve never looked worse. Considering this game is a remake of a B/W original Gameboy game, and that all these sprites are new, I would think some effort would have been made to have them look at least as good as the recent GBA or DS games.

Why, Konami?

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh on this series, and maybe “sucks” is a bit too strong. More accurate would be “mediocre.” But I’m only being harsh because it’s disappointing to see something with so much potential to be great turn out to be so generic. The biggest problem with these remakes is that one common element is absent: love. I’m not sure how to define it, but I get the feeling these games are very disconnected from their predecessors. It’s almost as if the development team either weren’t huge fans of the franchises, or of classic gaming in general.

I love seeing old 2D games getting some attention, and despite these flaws, I hope this series is the first sign of more to come. The current old school gaming revival trend that we’re seeing in the industry is exciting, and it proves that there is room in the market for both classic games and latest-greatest big budget titles. That said, classics like this need to be handled with care.

Back in the late 80s when Nintendo games were huge, some company put together a series of VHS videos called “Secret Video Game Tricks, Codes, and Strategies.” The series starred the U.S. National Video Game Team aka a few teenage boys with mullets wearing jumpsuits selected for the video.

The hosts would tell you tips and tricks that were common knowledge at the time, and perform these gems during the video in real time. For example, in one trick, you’re told to pause the game during a boss battle for one minute; the video shows the pause sequence for the entire minute. Other production magic included the hosts’ incessant plastic controller clicking and heavy breathing.

Hugely popular in Japan, Taiko Drum Master (Taiko no Tatsujin) is another in the long line of rhythm music games like Dance Dance Revolution, Guitar Hero, etc. But this one is based on traditional Japanese taiko drums… sort of.

We’ve had a lot of fun with this game in the arcade, so we decided to pick up the Wii version along with the Namco Bandai drum accessory. You can pick up cheap knock-off drums for as little as 100 RMB, but I wouldn’t expect them to last very long. Third-party drums seem to be going from around 200-250 RMB, and the original imported from Japan is 380 RMB.

The drum itself has a platform base so you can stand it upright on a hard surface, and it plugs directly into the Wii controller which you put down pointed towards your TV/sensor. There are sensors on the sides and surface of the drum, and you hit these with the sticks to navigate through menus and play the game. It’s worth noting however that you need to hit the drum somewhat hard for hits to consistently register. Because of this, the stand sometimes shifts during play and this can lead to some annoying mistakes. It is definitely not because I suck. I’m still looking for some way to stabilize it; something soft but heavy behind it would work.

I think the game has a story, but it’s entirely in Japanese so your guess is as good as mine. From what I gather, a cartoon drum dressed in a diaper and bonnet with ADD squeals in Japanese, farts, and is either being mentored or possessed by two drum sticks. To play, you hit the drum in time to markers that move across the top of the screen. As you do this, the cartoon drum blows balloon animals, kicks birds and mushrooms, or spits out ghosts depending on whether or not you hit the drum on time with the beat. The bottom part of the screen makes even less sense: beefcake wolves dressed up as little red riding hood prance around and an audience of catfish ‘get down’ at some sort of cartoon animal rave.

The track list is made up of a mix of JPOP, Japanese dance music and techno, some classical music, and a few classic video game songs (like the Super Mario Bros. theme). The higher you score on each song, the more technicolor liquid gets poured onto your cartoon drum, eventually causing it to grow from a baby to a schoolboy, and eventually an adult. I think. And then new songs are unlocked.

Overall, if you don’t mind guessing your way around Japanese menus and annoying your neighbours with the sound of loud plastic drumming, it’s a pretty fun little setup.

I’ve been debating getting a video game system for a while, and decided to pick up a Nintendo Wii. I wanted to get an XBox 360 (primarily for Street Fighter IV and Katamari), but it costs significantly more, and a lot of the great 360 stuff is online which from my understanding is either inaccessible or a pain in the ass to access from China. Also, if I were to fork out for a 360, I’d have to get an HDTV to really enjoy it.

You can buy Japanese or Korean Wii systems at little shops around the city (every neighborhood has at least one mom ‘n pop – or gangster and cronie – video game shop), and right now they seem to be selling for 1250 RMB or so with one controller. “Backup” games are pretty standard at 5 RMB. Since Nintendo doesn’t officially sell its products in China, I don’t think it’s possible to purchase originals.

However, I decided to go the extra cheap route and pick up a used Japanese model Wii on craigslist. It was a pretty decent deal: mint unit with two controllers and guards, nunchucks, original and overseas power supply, a few games, and uh, lovely bright pink carrying case, for 1000 RMB (around $150 CAD).

The unit I purchased had an older version mod installed, meaning it wouldn’t play some of the newer games. I checked online a bit to find a solution, but the process to upgrade the latest version seemed to involve a lot of downloading and CD-R burning with a great possibility of bricking the Wii. So, I brought it into a video game shop on Beijing Xi Lu 北京西路 to see how much the store would charge to do it.

The kid at the shop said they could do the new mod and get it back to me the next afternoon for 50 RMB (around $7). Something tells me that this mod only required a software update, so 50 RMB was probably way too much. That said, I didn’t buy the system from their store, and I wasn’t in a bargaining mood, so I said ‘what the hell’.

The next afternoon, I went back to the shop and tested it out. The Japanese menu system was now in English, and it worked with a copy of Super Mario Galaxy I picked up at another shop. After confirming everything was good to go, I browsed through a few binders of 5 RMB games; it felt like I was back in Dragon City in Toronto’s Chinatown.

Other than Wii games, if you have an SD card laying around, this site has a bunch of great utilities that allow you to run NES, Genesis, MAME, etc. emulators and ROMs on the Wii. And I’m probably the only person without a DVD player (especially in China), but this site explains how to set up support for watching DVDs.