Walking down Shanghai’s Huaihai Road this weekend, I passed by one of the many jewelery shops selling jade bracelets. When I looked at the prices of some of them though, I almost couldn’t believe it.

These bracelets were going for 680,000 RMB (or ~ $100,000 CAD); there was also a jade necklace on display for over 800,000 RMB!

Don’t get me wrong: I realize jade can be worth more than gold, and there is jade jewelery out there worth much more than this. It’s just the way these jade items were displayed so casually in very nondescript shop windows; the same way a 50 RMB bracelet would be displayed. It’s as if an impulse buyer walking by will see it and just say, “Hmm, why not?”

I wonder if you can bargain.

Ellen’s colleague gave her this loaf of “coal” bread as a little gift. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had or even heard of black bread before.

I figured that it would be white on the inside, but nope:

In the picture it looks a bit green or something, but it actually was completely black. I was almost afraid to eat it, but it turns out it was pretty good. Very fresh, and – like a lot of Asian breads – sweet.

“…. and don’t get me started on fire extinguishers!”

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Tags or tiny ads aside, graffiti isn’t all that common in Shanghai. You see it around, but mostly for some commercial reason (it seems to be more of a fashion thing here than anything else). So, I was surprised to come across this area outside the construction of what I assume is to be the millionth apartment hi-rise to be built in the neighbourhood.

The two guys scraping off the one piece had about 20 cans of spraypaint in bags behind them, presumably to add something new.

Lots of sales at the grocery store this weekend!

15.80 RMB for 500g of very fresh frog

Eels and turtles are more expensive. 56 RMB for the eels, and 248 RMB for the turtles (500g)

Recognize that guy in the pic, to the right of Canadian PM Stephen Harper? It is Mark Henry Rowswell, better known as Da Shan 大山, or ‘big mountain’, and he is the most recognizable Canadian in China.

Ok, I know I just mentioned a while back that Dr. Norman Bethune was the most well known Canadian in China. I still think this is true, but Da Shan is running a VERY close second and is easily the most recognizable living Canadian in China.

Rowswell, who is from Ottawa, went to Nepean High School and then studied Chinese at the University of Toronto in the mid-late 80s. He graduated, and was awarded a full scholarship to attend Peking University in Beijing.

Now, I probably don’t need to say this, but China in the late 80s was a hell of a lot different than the China of today. Even in larger cities like Beijing, Chinese people had rarely, if ever come into contact with foreigners, let alone one who could speak Chinese. But Rowswell didn’t just speak Chinese – he mastered it and spoke Chinese better than many native speakers.

So when he was invited to play a skit on China’s annual CCTV New Year’s Gala (with an estimated 700 million viewers), he rocked to stardom. Rowswell – and the country bumpkin character he played, named ‘Da Shan’ – became a household name in China literally overnight.

He then began to study cross-talk, a Chinese form of comedic dialogue between two performers. There was a huge controversy in Da Shan’s formal acceptance to the cross-talk inner-circle, as it’s considered so highly skilled to be beyond the reach of most native Chinese speakers, let alone a foreigner. Eventually he was accepted, and excelled.

Twenty years later, Da Shan is still a huge celebrity in China. He has a program on CCTV9 (English) to teach English speakers Chinese, continues to appear on or host variety shows, and is in about a million different commercials. Despite the fact that now there are many foreigners in China, and many who can speak fluent Chinese, “Da Shan” is considered special. Maybe it’s because he was the first, maybe it’s because he speaks it so well, maybe it’s because he has a wholesome image and is a friendly, non-threatening, foreigner image; who knows. Whatever it is, Chinese people really like him.

The Chinese may love Da Shan, but he’s no friend of mine. His level of Chinese language ability was at first an inspiration; a beacon of what was possible. “If Da Shan – a fellow Canadian even! – can speak like that, surely some day I can too, right?”

Now that I’ve been here a few years, I just see Da Shan as this smug, discouraging, jerk.

I’ll come home from a day out, proud of my speaking, understanding, and reading a bunch of Chinese that I encountered. But then, I turn on CCTV or something and BAM, there is Da Shan, speaking Chinese better than the Chinese.

Or I’ll talk to someone who is Chinese and they’ll say (after the Bethune discussion), “Oh, do you know Da Shan? He is from Canada. He speaks Chinese very well”. But they ALWAYS have this look in their eyes that says “if he can do it, why can’t YOU? You are too lazy?” I want to say “Da Shan is a freak – almost nobody can learn a second language that well, that late in their life! He’s an anomaly!!” Unfortunately, I don’t know how to say most of that in Chinese, so I just meekly smile and say, “Yes, I know Da Shan. Yes, he speaks Chinese very well. He’s very clever, isn’t he?”, hoping that at very least I can salvage some ‘clever by association’ of being Canadian.

He is a cruel and constant reminder that no matter how much I practice or try to learn Chinese, I will never, ever be at that level. Never. Not even close. And not even only me – most other foreigners too.

Da Shan – you are the bane of Chinese-language learners everywhere.

It’s no secret that Obama is pretty popular in China. So popular in fact, that several t-shirt vendors and shops in Beijing have been selling what has to be one of the most bizarre souvenirs to catch on in a while: “Oba Mao” t-shirts, bags, etc. which display President Obama’s likeness dressed in a Red Guard uniform, staring in a Chairman Mao-like pose.

I’m not sure what it’s supposed to mean exactly, but apparently they’ve been selling like crazy.

Not while Obama visits China later this month though. Beijing Municipal Government officials have warned shops to stop selling the merchandise while Obama visits (although they can resume after he’s left.)

So after years of rumours and anticipation, China Unicom has finally launched the iPhone here. Unfortunately, nobody really cares because:

- It’s two years too late.
- Everybody who wanted one already purchased a US or Hong Kong model.
- The China Unicom version has its wi-fi functionally ripped out (at the hardware level), effectively neutering it.
- China Unicom is trying to go the AT&T route by selling it with 2 year contracts.
- Despite selling a crippled version, they are still charging MORE for it: RMB 5,880 for the 16GB iPhone and RMB 6,999 for the 32GB model
- The above image is an example of the type of pathetic advertising China Unicom has been using to advertise it. Why bother using color or flashy images – everybody already knows what an iPhone looks like!

Almost makes you think that they have no intention of seeing it succeed here officially…

Who says China is not taking a hard stance on smoking? By 2012, if you’re in a hospital in Sichuan, you’ll have to smoke outside.

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China is pretty notorious for not being very vegetarian-friendly. This is understandable: in the not so distant past, food was scarce, and meat was exclusively for the wealthy and the elite. Now that meat is cheap and plentiful, the idea that someone would choose not to eat it is bizarre to most Chinese.

If you walk into the average restaurant in China and try to explain that you don’t eat meat, you’ll get a lot of puzzled looks. Good luck finding something on the menu that doesn’t contain (or was prepared with) meat or animal products. Even most vegetable dishes you order come sprinkled with some pork or bits of meat. Vegetable dishes are considered ‘cheap.’

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