Economy, economy, economy. It hasn’t been doing well for a while now, and seems to be affecting everyone in some way or another. But as an individual, what should one do? Tighten one’s belt by cutting back on luxuries and unnecessary expenses? Drink cheaper alcohol? Find a job?

Absolutely not! Now more than ever it’s time to call on the power of Chinese symbols of prosperity! If anyone can help you get through the recession, these guys can:

Zhao Cai Mao 招财猫

Probably the he most famous of them all (and actually Japanese, as I mentioned previously) Zhao Cai Mao – literally, “money bringing cat” – is the cat you see near the cash register in restaurants and shops, beckoning customers (money) to come in.

Chan Chu 蟾蜍

Chan Chu the ‘lucky money toad’ is too cool for words. This greedy looking toad has 3 legs and sits on a pile of gold coins. Placing him in front of your door or money area ensures that money will find its way inside your business or home. Once I walked by a chan chu in a store window and that same day I got paid.

Qilin 麒麟

I first encountered Qilin by drinking the Japanese beer “Kirin” (which is Japanese for Qilin) and line of tea drinks you find at all the Kedi/All Days/Lawson convenience stores in Shanghai. Qilin is a creature with fire all over his body and “the head of a dragon, the antlers of a deer, the skin and scales of a fish, the hooves of an ox and tail of a lion”. He’s an omen that brings good luck and, like most others in China, you’ll often see him in pairs in front of buildings like banks or security holding companies. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Pixiu 貔貅

Last but certainly not least, when desperate times call for desperate measures you need to call in the heavy artillery. And that my friends, is Pixiu. Pixiu is a winged lion-like creature with a hunger for gold. According to legend, Pixiu did something very bad and the Jade Emperor punished him by restricting his diet to gold and sealing up his anus. You don’t need to be a proctologist to figure out what that means: all the gold he eats he cannot poop out… making you FILTHY RICH!

So in summary: rent coming up? Creditors hounding you? Can’t make your student loan payments? No problem. Do what I plan on doing: stack a whole gang of these guys in front of every window, door and hole in your home. Then just sit back, relax, and get ready to retire in style. On Easy Street.